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Posts Tagged ‘Love’
Mon, November 17, 2008 6:08 am By James Coolridge
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How often have you heard about women leaving men either because of their looks, age or lack of decent financial standing? All the time, isn’t it? But tell me one thing clearly, have you have had the girl coming to you and telling that she left you because of any of these. Well, I am not talking about the lesser mortals who woo men because of materialistic reasons. I am talking about genuine women, who understand what bonding with a man means and want to have a serious relationship with them.
I don’t think such a woman ever leaves a man saying that you are not good looking and hence I can’t continue with you. Well, if she was so bothered about it so much, she wouldn’t have agreed to date with you in the first place. But what if smart, intelligent women don’t date with you just because you are way too older to them? What if they don’t notice you in the first place only?
You know what?
You now don’t need to worry about women not noticing you over any of these reasons now. This is because you can now make young, intelligent women get attracted to you at your own will, irrespective of your bank balance, your age or your looks. You can now seduce them at your own leisure and make them fall in love with you with intensity that’ll have shivers running down your spine.
How?
By tapping their heart, their emotions! Women are emotional beings. They think from their hearts, not their brains. Logic plays a minimal role in their decision making when it comes to choosing their partner. If you try logical things by being a nice guy and thinking that good girls are bound to get attracted to a good guy, you are absolutely wrong. Good girls (and this may hurt you) get attracted to bad guys who don’t have even an iota of intelligence like yours.
So my dear friend, its time to get that streak of wildness out now. If you tell women what they are willing to listen rather than what you think is right, I bet you’ll never miss a hit at the super beautiful damsel, you have always been wanting to talk!
Tags: Love, Dating Tips, impressing women, dating women
Sat, November 15, 2008 5:55 am By James Coolridge
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Well, in my last article, I spoke about how you should let the woman do the talking for the first one month of your dating her. I also told you that women love talking and so the best way to impress her is to let her open her Pandora’s Box and talk to you, to her heart’s content. You must be wondering that when will you do the talking if you invest all the gracious time in listening to her?
Here’s your answer!
The biggest advantage you are getting out of letting the girl talking initially is you’ll get to know most about her in the first few weeks of dating her itself. By letting her talk you’re discovering which category she belongs to. Whether she is one-night stand types, just dating material or possibly someone more serious. Also as a person who doesn’t want to create any unnecessary mess in his life, you should not before hand whether that girl is worth you or not.
Sooner or later, you will have to certainly open up but in this first month, you can focus on discovering whether she is worth of your attention or not. All you need to do is be confident and playful on your dates and try giving as much little information as you can about yourself as possible. Be smart and witty in answering questions she pops out for you every now and then and switch the conversation back to her within no time. Women often tend to miss this stuff so you can be assured in here.
There lies one more reason in talking less in the beginning. Women love mysterious men. If you have an air of curiosity surrounding you all the time, women will feel intrigued to know more and more about you and this will keep her at her toes all the time. Creating a balance is important. Don’t ruin it for her by letting her know every single detail about your proudest achievements within the first 10 minutes of your meeting her. Even if you don’t have anything to be proud of she doesn’t know that! She’ll daydream and fantasize about how mysterious you are.
Ideally even a long term girlfriend or wife should be discovering new things about you for years to come!
Tags: Love, Relationship, Women, impressing women, dating women, knowing women
Sat, November 8, 2008 11:01 am By James Coolridge
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Dating more than one woman at a time is not new to some among us. When men do that, it gives them confidence and boosts their ego by thinking that they own the skill that very few possess. Some men can’t do away with just a single female in their life and here you are – dating various personality types at your own ease. But where does all this lead you? Well, let’s find out!
Most men think that dating several women keeps them away from acting clingy and desperate. But a sad thing here that men exercise is that they think that dating means they can also sleep with all their women. Let me tell you guys, you are going into a deep pothole if you keep going about sleeping with women like that. Having many physical relationships with several women is not fair to them and is extremely risky for you too. It’s not unheard of for women to go off birth control without telling their boyfriends.
If you think that possessing the skill to lure a new woman in bed every night makes you a real man, you need to throttle your grey cells a bit. You are absolutely wrong if you think so. In fact you are simply whiling away your precious energies by sharing yourself with so many females at a time. This is you will be engaged in impressing every girl by doing what she prefers the most and lose your own originality or let me say sanctity as a person.
For those you are unknown to al of this, let me tell you that nothing beats having a single partner that can challenge you, match your mental wavelength and impress you with her integrity, confidence, grace and solidarity. When you truly develop a bond based on mutual respect with the woman you are extremely attracted to, the feeling s much more gratifying than indulging with 5 other women at the same time and losing your real self.
So the lesson to be learnt is dump your ego and look for relationships with women that are your equals. This will make you happier in the long run and you’ll live a life free of guilt and self-reproach.
Tags: Love, Relationship, Women, impressing women, loving women, Dating many women
Wed, October 15, 2008 12:39 pm By James Coolridge
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Love is not a feeling though real love is basically a strong feeling, which does not equate to fly in sky or float on clouds. Like we used to see in television, movies, it’s not the love which portrays in person’s real life like singing songs and feeling gooey gooey. People in love do not always feel to be around each other, as everybody needs their own space. A relationship will never last on an intention to be in a relationship or on emotions; there should be knowledge to be in a healthy relationship.
Knowing a person is very important. Many times in life it happens that we fall in love with the person we haven’t seen or we hardly know, by a conversation or as such. It happens with people in real life as they fall in love with the movie star and sometimes with a guy we have seen at some shopping mall. Does thing sufficient the need of knowing the person? Starting such a relationship will never satisfy you and you will never know that where it will lead you!
It is very important to know the person’s personality and character and the qualities which attract us to that person. If we know a lot of thing about someone and like it, then it is that we are really attracted toward him and if we know very little about someone and are not attracted towards him, is that we don’t know him.
If a relationship is of long term then the goal should be common and both the person should lead their life in one direction. If both the person have different view point and have different ideas as one want to travel different international location while other want to spend time at one location. These type of change in ideas and compatibilities may lead to conflict which could be serious problem for a couple lives.
It is always shown by the media and other entertainment industry that whenever two people are in a relationship, it lead to have physical affection which is fun for others to see but love isn’t sex always.
Love is choice with a combination of commitment as feeling accompany love. For a long term issue, sex is just a part of marriage and any healthy relations never last on physical basis. The Bible says that God is love. God as our designer and creator, made us with needs for love. Its natural psychology that we get ample of love but we are never satisfied because God has made us of unconditional love and we, people are flawed.
It always happen in life that we get along with some of the people who will invariably let you down at some point but God has made us in such a way that we need to find our ways and the ultimate love and acceptance we get in him first. Any individual cannot always stand up to the extent of meeting all the needs of someone, no matter whether he is smart or handsome or she is beautiful or cute. God is the creator and he can only fulfill all that we need.
Tags: Love, God, Unconditional
Tue, October 14, 2008 11:34 am By James Coolridge
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It is a very common question, and all of you who are in love at any point of time in your life have asked this question to your self, “m I in love?”, but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don’t know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can’t be easily answered.
One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love.
Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many people confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.
Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one another’s happiness. Love is a positive feeling. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will.
Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sloppiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?
There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person. If you agree with 7 of the following 8 statements you are probably in love.
1. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
2. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you
or hurt your relationship.
3. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
4. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
5. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision and your decision alone.
6. Neither you nor your partner feels the need to test the other’s loyalties or feelings.
7. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
8. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.
Tags: Love, happiness, lust, attraction, feelings
Tue, October 7, 2008 6:31 am By James Coolridge
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Many problems in relationships are due to our own belief system which gives us an aggressive (dominating) or non-assertive (submissive) stance. This often leads to a “control” imbalance. This control imbalance almost always increases feelings of resentment and distance.
ASSERTIVE (”I WIN–YOU WIN”) POSITION
It means being sensitive to my own and other peoples’ feelings and exploring those feelings to achieve a deeper understanding of the thoughts and beliefs that cause those feelings. It means using open, honest, understanding, and caring communication.
The rewards of the assertive position include (1) being happy myself because I take care of myself well, (2) being happy giving gifts that help you be happy, (3) receiving gifts from you out of your genuine caring back, and (4) both of us feel an increased self-esteem and closeness.
AGGRESSIVE (”I WIN–YOU LOSE”) POSITION
Being aggressive (or domineering) generally involves having a belief system that puts my values and needs above yours almost to the exclusion of yours.
“BULLY TYPE” Control: The dominant/aggressive person uses some form of mental, physical, monetary, or other type of power to force or manipulate their partner.
“CON TYPE” Control: The dominant/aggressive person uses deception, lying, charm, and other verbal skills to persuade the person into doing what they want. He/she may be a “super-salesman” at it. The difference between “con” behavior and good, assertive communication is that the con person is lying and doesn’t plan to keep his/her word. The assertive person is strictly honest and always intends to keep his word.
“JUDGMENTAL” Control: The dominant/aggressive person relies on rules or a “holier than thou” approach to keep their partner feeling guilty and off-balance. The judgmental person takes the position that they are morally right, have God or some other power of right on their side and that their partner is morally wrong, stupid, or some in some other way not being “good,” “intelligent,” “kind,” “considerate,” “assertive,” “loving,” or something else that is valued by them. The manipulative person uses these labels, etc. to get control and get their way more than because they just are trying to help the person. Or, they may take the role of a parent constantly with a person who doesn’t need parenting.
NON-ASSERTIVE (”I LOSE–YOU WIN”) POSITION
Being non-assertive generally means having a belief system which emphasizes putting your needs or point of view ahead of my own. Often willing to go to great lengths or at great cost to myself to please the other person–even if I get little else in return.
In the long run they loose interest and respect for me and end up rejecting me after all.
Passive control. “sneaky” ways where the passive partner hopes to not get caught.
The positive and negative outcomes of non-assertiveness. The rewards for non-assertiveness include (1) having my needs “taken care of” by someone else, (2) being a “nice guy” that others like because they always get their way with me, (3) getting others’ sympathy and support, (4) avoiding anxiety, responsibilities, or having to overcome fears
Look upon every man, woman and child as your equal. As though they were symbolically a part of you. Black, white, Jew, Gentile, those that love you or those that hate you, or whatever your differences may be. We all are from the same Source, and your love for them will help them to harmonize with yours and their inner spirit which is one in the Source.
Love yourself. This will plug your awareness into your heart centre. It will enable clarity of thought and perception. Anyone who believes they truly love another but doesn’t love one’s self is deluding one’s self. Love is about finding balance, and one cannot balance with only one side of the equation. The ultimate realization here is the fact that by truly loving another, you are loving yourself. This will have profound impact on your life and that of others. To do this you have to be absolutely honest with yourself and come to accept yourself for whom you are your strengths and weaknesses. You may wish to be a brain surgeon, for example, but have not the powers of concentration needed and you may find you are equally attracted to another profession. We cannot all be leaders or brain surgeons! Nature does not create this way. Creation gives everyone a natural place and it is up to us to find that place, or forever is found wanting.
Face every adversity as a learning experience. Only you can decide whether an experience is there to face or avoid. Only love of the self and others will bring forth the realization of how to deal with any situation correctly.
Never allow guilt to interfere with your life. If you have erred, learn from it and give thanks to yourself for the opportunity you have given yourself to learn and evolve. Let the experience go and go with the flow, unfettered by unnecessary baggage. As long as you live according to the other advice you will avoid the traps of discarding guilt altogether and living recklessly. Everything has its place, even guilt and fear; but these things are not meant to be solid obstacles to life, only transient experiences to help us learn and evolve. They are like barriers on the road. If you run into them, turn the wheel and get back on the road. You will always know the road: it’s the place where the barriers aren’t!
Harm none as much as is humanly possible and do as you will.
Tags: Love, Listen, hate, solve, assertiveness, control
Fri, October 3, 2008 11:09 am By James Coolridge
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When the thought of a make out session is hijacked by your impending work deadlines, serious damage control is in order.
At times you might have had a terrible day at work, long hours of meetings, and your phone continuously ringing. All you can think of is your comfortable bed with no, not your partner, but some pillows for company. If such is the case you are not alone in the race. Job pressure, big city blues, overall lack of time leads to lack of intimacy in the bedroom. In other words, your interest to intimate fades out with time. You start considering it as a work and stop enjoying even the thought of intimating. The main culprit is nothing but fatigue-both physical and mental.
Here are a few tips that will help you overcome your problem:
• If you are too tired to do it at night try morning sex.Its the time when you are well rested. If low energy is the problem try and work out more.
• You can try mood enhancers such as aromatherapy, sexy scents or sexy thoughts, play yours and your partner’s favorite music.
• Don’t treat sex as a job that you have to get over with as fast as possible. Give time to lovemaking. Try and be romantic.
• If there is no time plan some exclusive time for lovemaking. And try and make that time the most memorable one which you can cherish for times to come.
• Since your relationship is some years old now don’t take each other for granted. If you do so there would be no charm left in your relationship.
• If you want to relax your self when you back from office meditate and shed all stress and anxiety and then think of lovemaking.
• Good sex will energize you emotionally and the adrenaline rush can result in high energy levels.
Sex life should be important for you. You have to prioritize and make the effort to create the ambience or schedule time for it.Sex is said to be the glue that holds couples together and also remember that will be the first one to wear out when you are busy with work or over stressed in life. Sexual frustration can precipitate a downward spiral and pull you down helplessly .It also prevents you from being able to reduce your stress. No sex leads to even less sex.
Tags: Love, Relationship, Sex, work, stress
Mon, September 29, 2008 5:05 am By James Coolridge
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I don’t intend to scare you, nor do I intend to give you any wrong notions about yourself. All I intend to tell is doing ‘nice’ things for your lady doesn’t necessarily mean that you are being smart. Alright, let us delve a bit deeper in this.
You’ve just proposed your girl and she is has happily agreed. What’s next is your first date with her and you have to impress her by all means. So what do you do? You find out what her favorite flowers are and plan to show up with a bunch when you go to pick her up. Or you find out what’s her favorite destination so that you can hit a conversation around it. The idea is to certainly impress her to the best of your abilities. You may even take her to dine with you at a place serving her favorite food so she’ll know you’ve cared enough. These are undoubtedly the nicest things a guy may most often consider doing to impress her lady love. But if you think you are being smart by doing this and that this will invariably draw her close to you, you may be wrong. Yes, this is no joke.
I have always emphasized the fact that women are emotional beings. Talking about or doing nice things to impress her is something everyone trying to woo her would be doing. So don’t think that it is a smart move only you have thought about. Logical things won’t really help you woo a lady who’s really attractive and intelligent too.
Every woman at the end of the day falls for a man who makes her feel special by emotionally stimulating her. Physical things don’t matter to her much if she is really serious about the relationship. She’ll give herself to you only when you’ve made her feel loved and not flattered. Women do like praises and they have their places at some special moments but going over-board only spoils the broth.
What I’m trying to say is you should know what a woman wants before you push yourself in a relationship. Know what her heart craves for and confess your love to her only when you are sure of yourself. Faking things will turn her hostile because women can see through such emotions with absolute ease. So think twice before you entrap yourself with this mystery called a woman.
Tags: Dating, Love, impressing women, dating women
Fri, September 26, 2008 9:14 am By James Coolridge
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Many of us go trough the stage of true love. Love to an extent of blindness. We either think we love someone or do not realize until it is too late that we actually did love someone. You do not have to be blinded by love. You have the power to recognize it, but you must use smart decision-making skills to avoid making fatal relationship mistakes. In this section, work on waking up your awareness so that you will act in “knowing.” The first step is to become familiar with the stages of relationships and the corresponding levels of love that you or your partner will most likely experience.
Relationship Avoidance
When the regular thoughts of the person is: I do not desire love
The Goal is: to prepare yourself for love.
This is characterized by non-interest.
Meeting
The general thoughts are: I am open to finding love
The Goal is: to prospect for the possibility of love in others.
This is characterized by anticipation
Dating
The feelings of the person changes to: I hope to find love
And the Goal is: to pre-qualify for a potential partner.
This is characterized by uncertainty
Breaking Up
The thought process is: I no longer want to love this person
The Goal is: to let go of the person/love
This could either be characterized by disappointment/relief
Breaking up is a transitional stage.
Exclusivity
The feelings turn in to: I think this is love
The Goal becomes: to further qualify the person to see if she/he might be a good match.
And is characterized by excitement
Commitment
The sure feelings are: I know this is love
And now the Goal is: to close the deal
The thoughts are characterized by confidence
Keeping the Love You Find
Feelings are: I want to keep this love
Ultimate Goal is: to preserve the love you have found
There are seven stages in a romantic
relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.
It is important to note that the breaking up stage can happen at any time within the other stages; i.e., at any time you or the other person decides to exit the relationship for whatever reason. In all seven stages, you always have these choices:
1. Continue moving forward
2. Stagnate
3. Slow down or go backwards
4. Exit
Where as the romantic stages are defined. But through the span of life, the other 7 stages are
FRIENDSHIP
ATTRACTION
PASSION
LONGING
LUST
OBSESSION
HATRED
Tags: Love, Desire, ignorance. passion.
Wed, September 24, 2008 11:35 am By James Coolridge
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Why is it that it is so tough for us to seek help when we are unable to lure the woman we are attracted to? I understand men don’t like to show themselves weak or helpless but basking in your own failures doesn’t really help. If the success of having the kind of women you want has always eluded you, do not stay put. Wake up and get going!
Let me tell you the most common mistake men make!
For men who are smart, who regard themselves to be higher than the ‘lesser’ mortals and think that they have an answer to everything (and can never fail in anything) so they’ll find a way out for this too, here’s what they do and what makes it all go wrong.
Most smart men think that seeking more information will help them figure out a solution to this problem like all others. Just like they hop on the net when they want to find out about a new virus on the computer or find the meaning of a new word, they seek more information thinking it’ll help them get rid of the issue like all other technical things.
I am not saying that reading or learning about successful relationships doesn’t help. It does but if the nature of your problem is emotional, reading even a hundred theories around it won’t help. What I am trying to say is you need to get into the psyche of the women if you really want to know what they want.
Women are not machines. There are no algorithms they function upon. They are subtle, soft creatures lured by seeing how well their man understands them. Most women fall for guys who can arouse emotion in them rather than those who simply blabber, talking only about themselves all the time.
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