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Posts Tagged ‘couples’
Tue, August 5, 2008 3:45 pm By James Coolridge  Printer friendly version
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Once upon a time your life was all about your friends. You hung out together, you planned holidays together and you called each other at the weirdest hours of night or day. But that fairy tale ended when you got married.
 This is what usually happens .Often when your partner is not a friend already; he/she is usually not familiar with your friends. Sometimes he or she doesn’t want to know your friends better. There may be resentment that you spend more time with them than him or her. There may be jealousy. He may think your best friend is too intrusive, she may think your best friend is too clingy. Both may hate it if the other calls his/her friends at strange times of the night, especially if the friend id of the opposite sex.
You want to preserve your relationship, so you sacrifice your friendship. You make new common friends and tough you try to keep up with your old circle of friends; you give up after a few years. “Almost all of us face this problem for some reason or the other if you cannot bridge the gap between the two relations, you often loose out on friendships, because partners and spouses are definitely the priority or problems might come up in the marriage. “ Experts say though it is impractical to expect your partner to always get along with your friends, some adjustments must be made. “it is oppressive to expect that your partner will like your friends the way you do.it is also oppressive for the partner to make demands regarding his/her friendships on you.”
Its okay if your partner doesn’t like all your friends .However adjustments are a must One must give both parties opportunities to find common ground. Both the partner and the friends should initiate friendship and show each other their willingness to get to know each other better. But if they don’t find any common ground its okay.Thats when you have to compromise. Its important to give your partner time alone with his/her friends. “Giving each other space is really impotant.”
Couples must avoid-
• Getting excessively intimate while with friends, it gets embarrassing for the others.
• Being very choosy about what the group should do and time constraints
• Fighting in front of everyone
• Don’t expect your friends to change their plans all the time to accommodate you.
Tags: Love, Partners, friends, couples
Mon, June 16, 2008 12:09 pm By James Coolridge
 Conflicts are inevitable part of any relationship. However, if the conflict gets escalated to a point which poses threat to the mere existence of the relationship, the conflict should be avoided or the solved in its best possible way. Here are five simple methods to solve/manage a conflict.
Collaborate: Invite your partner’s perspective about the issue which gives way to an argument. Assert your views as well.
Compromise: Compromising doesn’t mean that you are the inferior. This will surely bring out quick and effective solutions to conflicts. Persuade and compromise whenever you can.
Accommodate: True love is reflected in a relationship when you accept your partner the way she is. Try to accept her views as well. If it is her fault, make her understand and try to rectify the mistake rather than blaming her for the situation. If it is the other way around, you should never forget to acknowledge the error.
Avoid: This is a nice and quick escape from the build up of conflict. Delay your response or walk out from the situation. It may sound awkward but surely works! This approach is applicable only when both of you are angry and need some time to cool down. Deviate yourself from the conflict for some time and then discuss the problem calmly if you calm down.
Tags: Relationship, couples, conflict, resolve, solution, judgement
Sat, June 14, 2008 12:12 pm By James Coolridge
 Many relationships have proven to be a ticket to heartbreak and disappointment. In this article, we focus on the self-destructive relationships that are mushrooming among the couples in US.
Self-destructive relationship is one wherein you are with somebody who isn’t right for you. This may create many misunderstandings, disinterest, and conflicts for which you may find it difficult to get the solution. However, you still can’t seem to leave her for no reason. This is probably because you have a mysterious attraction towards girls who treat men like jerks. You may think that a girl in your life is the solution for your problems or she can give you the solution to your problems. You may also be afraid of being alone and find this relationship a better way to kill the loneliness. However, dude, this is in turn a killer relationship in all respect.
Let’s face it- you are the source of the dilemma. No solution will come and knock your doors. First, you must have core values and beliefs intact. No matter whether you are true to the rest of the world or not, but you should be true to your consciousness. Don’t go against what your consciousness says. Listen to it. Ask yourself whether you really want such kinda relationship, which fetches you nothing other than misery and conflicts. Think it over and move on…
Tags: Relationship, couples, conflict, resolve, solution, judgement
Sat, June 14, 2008 12:10 pm By James Coolridge
 A relationship with a girl may start as wonderful and continue to be the best at least for the first few months. As the relationship moves on, this may regress into the inevitable problems like conflicts, misunderstandings, and the worst of all, lack of trust. When this happens, it may seem difficult to get through her as effortlessly as before. Being easy with her may seem to be difficult. These possibilities incline us to tell you two of the worst relationships to be strictly avoided so that you don’t screw up your life.
“Instant” relationship:
You just dated a girl for a few weeks and she is not returning your calls. As a result, you smack your head and go nutty every time she doesn’t keep in touch with you. Well dude, you have encountered an instant relationship. She may have wanted some “fun” and good times with you (that is why you were feeling on heaven during the first few weeks of the so-called “relationship”). You should be very careful during these kinda situations. Don’t act clingy and make fuss over petty things otherwise, she would conclude that you are one among the stereotype jerks desperately wanting to get into a relationship. Now that she was just passing the time, why should you spoil your own image? It is better to have a “happy ending” for such kinda relationships rather than smacking your own head.
“Resistor” relationship:
If you are the resistor in your relationship who persuades the partner to do certain things such as making the relationship more meaningful or improving objectionable behavior, then dude, you are ending up into an undesirable relationship. What if she says that your values, your behavior, and your mere lifestyle are incorrect? Well, you would plainly think she doesn’t understand you and if this is not just a thought but the reality, then dear reader, this is a two way street that you are walking along.
Tags: Relationship, couples, conflict, resolve, solution, judgement
Tue, June 3, 2008 12:07 pm By James Coolridge
 Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. No relation on Earth can survive without conflicts. It tells us that all individuals are unique and the opinions, perceptions and values are distinctive. However, not all people like conflicts in their relationships. This is because they feel that conflict is counterproductive.
But, we say that conflicts are the “power drivers” in any relationship, provided they are resolved. Otherwise, they can sabotage the best of relationships.
Let us take the example of your workplace. The conflicts must be dealt with head-on especially when it is disrupting the people working as a team. Let us have a quick look at the possible causes of conflicts at a workplace.
Control
It is a basic human desire to acquire control and effect the direction of events. This basic nature of a desire to gain or retain power or resources sometimes results into conflicts, minor or major.
Preferences
Preferences may include your personal styles, habits, methods of the approach of work. Heterogeneous approaches lead to arguments and ultimately, conflicts.
Beliefs about Facts
You may believe something to be true, which may be totally unaccepted by your co-workers or your boss. This often leads to conflicts.
Values
Your values are there in your inner consciousness. If they are perturbed or disrespected, you may end up in a conflict.
So how should you resolve the conflicts ruining your work atmosphere?
The one-word answer is communication. Yes, it is communication which keeps the relationships remain intact. The communication should be rational and unemotional. Approach the situation in a practical way. Find out what is logical. Keep the emotions in the conflict aside. Solve the confrontations so that the workplace atmosphere stays productive.
That was one of the examples. Same thing applies to any relationship- let it be the relationship with your spouse, your friends or your family.
Tags: Relationship, couples, conflict, resolve, solution, judgement
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