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Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category
Sun, November 16, 2008 6:03 am By James Coolridge  Printer friendly version
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 The first thing in this regard to make sure whether the girl you are dating is worthy of being your long-term partner or not. I am not asking you to be judgmental but knowing the person before hand is imperative for you before you think of investing your energies in her.
So when you first start dating, let your lady do the talking. As it is women love to talk and if you willingly allow them to do so, you are only telling them that you want to pay attention to them. This will help you know here better and release you of the effort of making a decision about what kind of person she is. So the rule of the thumb in this regard is don’t talk about yourself when you first meet someone. Have fun with her, crack jokes but clam up when the conversation turns to specific areas about your life. Turn yourself into a mystery and women won’t be able to get enough of you.
In fact the same lies even after you commit yourself in a relationship. Never give yourself completely to your woman too soon. Not even she has long been your girl friend or your wife for that matter. Let her discover something new about you at different stages of your life and you’ll see that the fun and excitement in your life will never hit the dumps.
Another key piece of information that I must tell you is that, the moment a lady gets bored with a relationship, consider its end has come. You may not like to hear this but this is a proven fact. In married relationships, I have seen women going in for extra-marital affair for this one sole reason. It is sad, but true. So always be someone who’s fun to be with, someone with whom people love to spend time with. Humor plays a great role in this regard. You can also invest in some hobbies or areas of interest like traveling etc. I am not asking you to do all this against your happiness so that you can impress your lady. This is one way of enriching your love life you must exercise and you’ll see that your woman will become addicted to your energy.
Tags: Interest, Women, dating women, Relationship with women, loving women, Relationship secrets, how to make a relationship interesting
Thu, November 6, 2008 10:52 am By James Coolridge
 I decided to write on this because after seeing the way how men and let me say even ‘intelligent’ men go about ending their relationships; it saddened me to the core! Let me explain this to you by narrating a real-life incidence.
There was this acquaintance I knew who wanted to break up with his six-month old girlfriend. So without giving her any clue, he first stopped calling her without any reason. This brought her to immediately think that some thing had gone wrong between them. But when she called him to find out he spoke to her as if nothing was wrong and they chatted just like they would any other day. So she finally assumed that he had only been busy.
From then on, whenever she wanted to meet her, she has to literally push through his excuses. Only then would they meet. There certainly was a streak of reluctance in him which did come into her eye but since he was right there with him, she dropped the thinking that perhaps he was either tired, stress out or pre-occupied due to something. The end of the date would seem normal and so no clues could be dug from their meeting as well.
What’s disturbing is after a night of drinking he would call her for a late night booty call. As I always say that women are very sharp when it comes to gauging the integrity of a man, by now she had started questioning the merits of being in the relationship but then women are emotional creatures. Since he did make love to her still, she thought that he still loves her after all.
What women fail to understand is that men can easily have physical relationship with many women without having any true feelings for any of them.
So this is the flux that most men put women into without thinking about the extent to which anxieties can swell up in a woman’s mind. If you relate with what I’ve said in this article, then keep a track of my next article which will line ways about how can you call off your relationship with utmost kindness and genuineness. Until then, keep reading and be good!
Tags: Dating, Relationship, Dating Tips, Women, dating women, how to end a relationship
Sun, October 26, 2008 4:45 am By James Coolridge
 We often talk about how changing times have given vent to changing perceptions, paving way for societies being more open and individuals turning modernistic in their views. But there are still a few left who not only condemn these variations that have taken place in social arena but have also come up with their own set of defenses against attraction between a man and a woman.
With civilizations becoming open and more assimilative to modernistic ideologies, new lifestyles have cropped up which have drastically changed the way with which people not only exchange their verbal expressions but also represent their physical attires. To be able to wear one’s attitude up one’s sleeve is the greatest boon these times have given us but there are few among us who think otherwise and feel that these attributes have concocted our values and reverence we carried towards relationships. Let’s see what they are!
• Because people are allowed to choose their own partners, their divorce rates have increased.
• Couples have started cheating each other.
• Women have turned more materialistic.
• The concept of dating is an absolute failure. Only pre-arranged marriages work well because they have been doing so since years now.
• If people start listening to their hearts, they will become no less than animals.
• Flirting is not the right thing to do because it creates uncertainty. Only logical things fair well when it comes to knowing a person.
• Women who wear bold clothes only create problems.
Where some of the above mentioned myths may hold true in some contexts, most are mere hollow beliefs people carry because of their own unlike experiences. Attraction has had no rules, be it old times or new. It is a chemistry that may spark in the most unusual circumstances and may not spell it at all in the most obvious situations. Hence the fact of the matter is every era has its own pros and cons but stigmatizing a particular lifestyle or ideology doesn’t sound logical nor does it have any role to play in upgrading or demeaning the science of attraction!
Tags: attraction, attraction towards women
Thu, October 23, 2008 11:46 am By James Coolridge
 Relationship blues are not new to any of us. Some among us take it in our stride and move on. To some of us it hits on so hard that we start delving in it and it only draws us deeper and deeper in it. It is sad but true to know that not every one of us can cope up with such dilemmas and until we put in little effort towards lifting ourselves away from it, we are likely to be pulled in by it until we break.
After listening to innumerable people talk about it, I have come up with some advices that is likely to help all the heart break kids suffering either because of their painful break-up or because of the depression caused by rejection.
I’ve often seen men draining all their emotional energies thinking about why it happened with them. They keep brooding over it until it engulfs them completely and they start demeaning their life. This is where they go wrong in the first place itself. They demean themselves! So the key here lies in doing something that has long term benefits. This is so because when you engage yourself in something like this; it will help you take control of yourself in a complete way. Until you take responsibility for every area of your life, you are likely to extend your chain of suffering in times to come.
Getting into things that give you instant gratification will never do you any good in the long term. Instead set goals that you think will bring you benefits in the future. Take up some activity such as working out, taking up a class to learn something new or simply cleaning. An activity that absorbs your mind into doing something that catches your interest is the best thing you can do at this hour.
When in depression because of rejection or a broken relationship, men usually tend to lose a lot of confidence. Thus involving oneself in an activity triggers lot of poise and self-assurance of the fact that you can take care of yourself.
If you don’t do this, let me tell you friends that there is no limit to your moving down the ladder. So before you find yourself moving down in the dumps, hold yourself and take over some activity because this is the only thing can give you solace in such forlorn times.
Tags: Dealing with depression, men in depression, relationship blues
Sun, October 19, 2008 2:01 pm By James Coolridge
 There are five stages in a relationship. You’ll probably recognize when you moved in and out of these relationship stages.
The Main Five Stages in a Relationship
Lasting on one stage depends on the couple. Some couples never advance to the later stages because of incompatibility or emotional immaturity.
Stage One: Attraction and Romance
Every couples experience this phase. It happens in the beginning when both are in process of knowing each other. It can be called as fantasy phase because at this time the partner seems to be perfect. This phase lasts can last for some months to few years also.
Both of them focus on the similarities in this stage. You are likely that you are spending a lot of time together, seems that you are in love, after all, and you can’t think of being apart from your lover. Conflict is not only avoided in this stage but seems like it will never happen at all. It is fun in this stage but is not sustainable. People who are constantly changing partners are often trying to remain in this stage.
Stage Two: Reality Sets In
This stage will begin to creep in slowly in your relationship. In this phase, you don’t like your partner’s behaviors and start to see flaws. It’s not that you are no longer in love, but your partner doesn’t seem as great as he or she was in stage one.
The stage features many feelings running through your body that gives you a “high” sensation. Your body can’t resist this up forever, and so in this stage your relation begins to level down. You may even think that whether you are still in love or not.
Stage Three: Disappointment
When began as reality two often turns to disappointment in stage three. The problem arises that as a couple they know that arguments are bad but then also they are angry at each other. Some of the anger can be such as small differences between you. You don’t realize that conflict can be healthy, you wonder if this relationship is about to be over. In fact, you likely have thoughts of breaking up or getting divorced.
Stage Four: Stability
If a couple can go through the situation of stage three, they will find that stage four offers much rest and enjoyment. You now have history together and you have been able to work through some differences as being a couple. The fantasy of over, but you have accepted this. You have lots of differences and you sometimes fight, but you love your partner; feel connected to him or her, and you trust that you can work out in future conflicts.
You may, sometime, feel that you are little bored as the chase is definitely over. You may also miss the feelings what you felt in starting and wonder if those feelings can be found in someone else.
Stage Five: Commitment
Few couples make it till this stage, even couples who are married. In this stage, you are truly a team. You have chosen to be with your partner, flaws and all. You no longer miss the romance because that would lead to create space between both and it mean being with a new person and you don’t want that. You have a dream for the future together as a couple. If dating, this is the stage where you can get married and feel comfortable with that decision. It is a stage of mature and sustainable love.
Conclusion
Knowing about the stages in a relationship can help you understand your feelings about your partner and your relationship. It is natural to lose those early romantic feelings but that something it awaits more deeper for you in a later stage. The stages requires communication and hard work. It is worth the effort when you find the right person to share the your life.
Tags: romance, attraction, Reality
Mon, October 13, 2008 5:17 am By James Coolridge
 The concept of live-in relationship is when two people live-in together and decide not to get married in due course of time. It’s a western idea and lifestyle, which is being more acceptable in all societies gradually. Earlier it wasn’t accepted with same enthusiasm as it being now. Some couples find living together is easy but the other find lot of difficulties in it.
Researches have shown that most of the couple that spend lot of time living together are tend to marry and settle as family in a while. Imagine you being married and then you find out that you can’t live with that person? So it’s like a rehearsal before marriage.
• Duos are in love and want to spend more time together, so they think of settling down later on.
• They think both of them are compatible to each other and can spend their whole life together.
• Most of the people today believe that they cannot think of settling down with someone whom they have not lived with.
• People who think they are not ready for a family commitment and responsibility yet.
• It’s a good reality check for partners. Because once you live with someone you know the person more. Through time, a person’s true colours reveal.
• Couples who prefer their current lifestyle of enjoying life together i.e. travelling, shopping, and enjoying good food, etc. don’t want to get into family life. So they opt for it.
Keep in mind that the idea of living together ruin relationships is not supported in any research. Live-in together is a common and popular concept of settling down with partner among youngsters.
Though there are not many benefits to be talked of. One gets to know the reality when they enter such relationship and live with that. There are some issues to be settled and commitments to be made before getting into any relation. Like don’t forget to keep your expectations realistically and make the decision seriously and with great care. As long as both partners agreeable to this type of relationship, there shouldn’t be any problem. It’s all about being YOU TWO..!!!
Tags: Commitment, live-in relationship, living together, commitments
Mon, October 6, 2008 6:22 am By James Coolridge
 Its very common practice prevailing in every family, every relationship you accept it or not. On asking a common lady she dimples back and says “no, fighting over money –such an ugly thing isn’t it? ‘ your money, my money’ is something that the neighbors do. It happens to others. Not to us. Not really.”
Of course, most things being equal-the same level of education, income, ‘wavelength’-the fight over money, or how to spend it, is quite rough tackle these days. How can you tell the other off or keep a tight hold on the purse strings when each of you carries a wallet and the money that isn’t in it? Here is how you can set some ground rules and break them when need be without sounding the other out on responsibility not caring enough. There is no need to make it sound as if you all are ending up at cleaners.
Hold the key
1. Don’t be hands off. This is taking the fight over money to an opposite extreme. Be involved and keep track of your own accounts. Both spouses need to be responsible for the household budget-if you actually have such a thing.
2. No blame game- do not blame each other for any past financial problem.
3. Do not ring up your parents or friends and ask them to take sides in this.
4. Discuss all major purchases with each other before going through with it and take into consideration how your partner feels.
Power games
Do not play power games in a relationship. The boundary and hierarchical differences between men and women lead to clashes and money decision making.
Talking sense
1. Share your old hurts, resentments and fears about money. Mention your concern and fears about your partners spending.
2. There is no need to divulge your pin or password. While you may trust your partner absolutely, there are certain things that you must keep absolutely confidential and this is one of them. We can’t like for granted that a relationship will last forever.
3. When such an unfortunate split happens, it has been noted that some partners do misuse the trust placed in them.
Over 60% of arguments that couples have are related to money matters .Divulging accounts starts, Pins and passwords can sometimes result in unnecessary fiction between couples. So it is best to sort out financial matters at the beginning of a serious relationship and if you are earning and spending your own money, there is no real need to divulge the amount that you spend apart from your purchase the amount you decide to invest or save.
Tags: Partners, couple, money problems, understanding
Mon, September 22, 2008 11:10 am By James Coolridge
 Well, I don’t mean to intimidate you by saying this but this is true to the core. How many times have you really wanted to ask her out, kiss her, hold her hand but only found yourself staring at her, dumbstruck, not knowing what to do? I’m sure many a times. We want to do it but we get nervous. Moreover, she doesn’t seem to help either. Alright let me tell you that she won’t. Even if she wants to. Let’s know why.
You must be thinking as to why am I saying that women are 10 times smarter than we are. Well, that’s because they know what we are thinking. Women are very sharp when it comes to reading body language knowing hat exactly what you intend to do and how. Yes, if you are out on a date with your lady and want to kiss her, she probably knows it. Don’t be surprised as she will not show it to you. Women, whether outgoing or docile always prefer their men to take the lead. Moreover, they admire men who know how to handle her. So my point is, sitting there and getting nervous won’t really help.
This is a very important aspect of dating women and is applicable to everything, right from getting her number to asking her out and even getting physical. You ought to know what to do in each situation and how or else you may soon find yourself empty handed. It is all about being confident and going step by step to get her closer to you. Asking her to get physical with you in the very first date is the worst thing you can do to annoy her. Well yes, this can be most petrifying for the girl. Never and I mean never do that.
The more you communicate with her, the more you’ll know what kind of person she is. If she shares the same sense of humor as yours, you won’t have to put in much effort asking her out for a date or even holding her hand when together. Be as gentle as you can be. Touch speaks a lot. A woman can easily know your intension of touching her so do so only when your heart tells you to. Look into her eyes and smile. The point is to make her feel comfortable in your presence. To let her know that you like her for what she is. And that you care for her. Being subtle is the best way to woo a girl. Never be too gross with her. Not until both of you have spent a considerable amount of time together and are sure that she knows you well enough.
So before you start off, be confident of what you are stepping in, know your girl well and be just hit the dart without any inhibitions.
Tags: Relationship, Body Language, impressing women, what women think, impressing girls
Sat, September 20, 2008 10:48 am By James Coolridge
 How many times do we see our drudgery at work banishing just by having someone step into our office buildings? Well, yes you guessed it right. No sooner do pretty lasses enter our office ambience and all our anxieties run away to their grave. Flirting via e-mails is followed by chats over the coffee machine and even before you know it, you already have a brand new girlfriend up your counter. Let’s see what can help you to fair the best way possible!
The fact of the matter is a large number of people do tend to date at work. A place where you end up spending 8 hours or more with people you are paid to stay with, it is natural for and romantic bonds to develop. After all, the majority of your waking days are spent at work. And what more do we ask for if we fall in love with someone who can share our mind space with us at work. Work then, certainly becomes a delight! Well, only as long as nothing goes terribly wrong. God Forbid!
But to put it clearly, relationships at work first start quiet innocently. Then follows a period which is most exciting; you meet during lunch times, during short intervals, even at a moments notice. The turmoil creeps in when things begin to fall apart, slowly. A void start settling which you start sensing but kind of ignore because you don’t intend to make your work suffer. Sure, your career is anytime more important to you and you think that by spending more time at our desk, you are doing justice to your work. Well, let me tell you what do you do in such a situation. You start questioning yourself. Why did it go wrong? Was it a wrong choice? You start questioning your sanity and everything about you. In a nutshell, you start thinking a lot.
And thinking like this day in and night means lots of distraction. Distraction means loss of performance, loss of control and eventually loss of career. What’s worst is once your best friend is told the details, the entire office is also informed. The result is comes in the form of divided loyalties, with the boss’s awareness of something wrong. These are minor but nevertheless relevant distractions. You don’t have the option of disassociation or space, and thereby hangs the real danger.
The place which could have been your hideaway now becomes a place where are most at risk. So now, the most obvious question you would ask is whether you should date or not at office. After experiencing stuff myself and seeing my friends being fired by their bosses over this, I would advice that please DO NOT initiate a relationship at office. We all take chances in life, but as any gambler will tell you, only gamble what you can afford to lose.
Tags: Relationship at work, love affair in office, affair at office
Fri, September 19, 2008 12:20 pm By James Coolridge
 “Opposites attract each other”- an age old adage but holds true in the ever evolving relationship between man and woman. This situation of opposites attracting each other can transpire on many levels: spender vs. saver, risk-taker vs. non-risk-taker, or, as is the case in many relationships, extrovert vs. introvert.
Where on one hand an extrovert tends to be more outgoing and loves social activities, an introvert on the other hand tends to be quiet and self-reflective. Extroverts and introverts who are at the opposite ends of the realm may find themselves attracted to one another because their personalities balance one another out.
So the big question here is whether such a relationship can stand the test of time. Yes it can definitely work, provided the couple is fundamentally compatible. The foundation of any sound relationship is the basic level of understanding between the spouses. If the couple shows respect for each other and discuss these differences, they can actually come out stronger in the end.
HOW TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK?
• Communicate honestly, frankly and openly. The first step to make your relationship work is to discuss your feelings openly. Rather than just telling your spouse that you won’t go out, clarify that you’d rather stay home because you’re exhausted and NOT because you don’t want to be with him or her.
• Be sympathetic and understanding. For a change, think from your partner’s perspective. Try to understand him by putting yourself in his/her shoes. If you preferred staying home the way he or she does, how would you feel if your partner would insist on going out everyday?
• Express your feelings. Tell your spouse what you love about him or her. Look beyond your differences and think of all the good times you have spent together by constantly reminding each other why you fell in love.
• Look for equilibrium. It is essential to strike a balance in any relationship and more so here where the personality traits are poles apart. If you’re the one who always initiates and dominates the conversation, take a breather and let your partner speak up for a change.
• Sacrifice your wishes sometimes. Is it fair to never give in to your partner’s requests to stay home or go out? Sometimes, it’s essential to give in to your partner’s idea, and you’ll in all probability find that the favor is gladly and willingly returned.
• Build common interests. Take out some time to reflect and find out new interests that you can share and enjoy, whether it’s watching movies, listening to music or taking strolls together.
Remember, making any relationship work is in your own hands. It depends on how much committed you are to make it successful and everlasting in spite of having clashing personalities.
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