Telling your spouse about your affair with another woman may lead to a war of words, or even a break up. Admitting about an affair is quiet risky ‘coz this can put your relationship into a standstill, but dear reader, you have to do it, with courage. Before taking the step, there are three things to consider.
Take the ethical dimension first. This may be subdivided into two divisions- the teleological viewpoint and the deontological viewpoint. The former is based on what is best in terms of ultimate consequences of an act whereas the latter is based on a conclusion that “right is right and wrong is wrong”. If you have a teleological viewpoint, you may feel that it is best not to mention about your affair to your spouse ‘coz you may feel that it is better off that way. On the other hand, if you have a deontological viewpoint, you may end up in admitting your affair to your spouse ‘coz you will feel that right is right and wrong is, indeed, wrong.

Revealing about your affair to your spouse may lead to an immediate break-up. She may feel that the situation has gone beyond control. Hence, the social dimension- your kids, your extended families- should be considered before confessing the affair to your spouse. You should think about the consequences that the bad news may have in your kids, the rest of your family members, and most importantly, your marital status.

Now let us come to the psychological dimension. Consider this- what was the basic need for an extra marital affair? Ask yourself the reasons for what you have done. Was it out of lack of love, understanding, care and mutual respect? Have you fallen out of love for your partner? Think it over…

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Cheating is unacceptable in any relationship. It is one of the worst things that you can do any relationship. No matter you are caught cheating your partner or not, cheating involuntarily puts a big question mark on your conscience and your mere character. Even it is the other way around, cheating is not justified.  Here are a few telltale signs of cheating in a relationship.

• Your partner pays more attention: Your partner pays extra attention to your needs than usual. Don’t mistake it as her love for you. This may be due to the guilt that the cheater experiences in the early stages of her affair. As the extra marital affair reaches its climax, her attention to your needs diminishes. As result, you will be paid little or no attention.
• Your partner becomes moody: Fluctuations in the mood is one of the major telltale signs of cheating in a relationship. Your partner may feel depressed, moody and frustrated when she is around you. She may feel very upbeat and excited when she is away from you.
• Minor issues give way to major fights: Your partner may pick up petty issues and build up into a major fight. This gives them a reason to get mad and storm out of the house to meet the other lover. Most of the cheaters have mixed emotions at this stage of cheating.
• Excessive shopping: She may love shopping around, but if she starts buying frequent gifts, you have to be alert. The guilt in her drives her to purchase gifts for you. It is yet another “kill-the-guilt” formula applied by the cheaters. This makes them feel better from inside.
• Less or no communication: She may now feel that she is emotionally detached from you and stops communicating with you. She may also become colder towards your feelings.

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