Once upon a time your life was all about your friends. You hung out together, you planned holidays together and you called each other at the weirdest hours of night or day. But that fairy tale ended when you got married.

This is what usually happens .Often when your partner is not a friend already; he/she is usually not familiar with your friends. Sometimes he or she doesn’t want to know your friends better. There may be resentment that you spend more time with them than him or her. There may be jealousy. He may think your best friend is too intrusive, she may think your best friend is too clingy. Both may hate it if the other calls his/her friends at strange times of the night, especially if the friend id of the opposite sex.

You want to preserve your relationship, so you sacrifice your friendship. You make new common friends and tough you try to keep up with your old circle of friends; you give up after a few years. “Almost all of us face this problem for some reason or the other if you cannot bridge the gap between the two relations, you often loose out on friendships, because partners and spouses are definitely the priority or problems might come up in the marriage. “ Experts say though it is impractical to expect your partner to always get along with your friends, some adjustments must be made. “it is oppressive to expect that your partner will like your friends the way you do.it is also oppressive for the partner to make demands regarding his/her friendships on you.”

Its okay if your partner doesn’t like all your friends .However adjustments are a must One must give both parties opportunities to find common ground. Both the partner and the friends should initiate friendship and show each other their willingness to get to know each other better. But if they don’t find any common ground its okay.Thats when you have to compromise. Its important to give your partner time alone with his/her friends. “Giving each other space is really impotant.”

Couples must avoid-
• Getting excessively intimate while with friends, it gets embarrassing for  the others.
• Being very choosy about what the group should do and time constraints
• Fighting in front of everyone
• Don’t expect your friends to change their plans all the time to accommodate you.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 5th, 2008 at 3:45 pm and is filed under Relationship. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.